I will never drink again!

Part of the plan for my new life in Kelowna was to get out more. Have more fun. Spend more time with friends. Maybe date a little. So when my friend said lets go for beers on Friday I was right on board.
Lets remember that I am not much of a drinker. There isn't even a stocked bar in my house. I have to go buy booze when I have company.
That said, I know I can drink 4 beers and not be stupid drunk.
Yeah right
We went to a cute little Brew Pub on Hwy 97. Not so little really it has a bowling alley in it and a full menu with great food. I looked around and thought, geez I'd like to come back here again what a great place. That was before I made a drunken spectacle out of myself. Now I can never go back again.
That's not true.
I wasn't that bad but I did fall over in my chair after only 4 beers. Yes folks I did. I could feel it happening in slow motion. The slow turn of the chair that told me I was going over. I tried to stop the momentum tried to right myself in my chair but the fates would not have that. Over I went in front of everybody and their god. It was horrifying and after only 4 beers more horrifying. But that was just the beginning of my humiliating night. Yes it got worse. I lost my keys later in the evening, I wasn't driving home anyways but I did need to get my car in the morning and only have one set of keys.
I am an idiot.
The most humiliating part of the evening actually happened the next day...But I digress.
I got home at about 1:00 am, looked at the clock and wondered how it got to be that time. All we had done since 9 was play a couple of games of pool. I sent a drunken email to a friend, called my partner in crime to tell her there was no way in Hell I was going to the gym at 8:00 am, talked about the man she had run into while we were out and went to bed.
I woke up to the worst hangover I have had in ...well, years, even worse than Martini night at Marianne's, and that was bad.
I stumbled to the kitchen for water, stumbled back to bed and popped some ibuprofen. An hour later my son comes in.
"hey mom how're you doin?"
"umph" I say from my pillow.
"Hung over?"
How does he know I wonder, I'm searching my brain but recall he was in bed when I got home.
"uh huh"
"where's the car?"
I remember that I have no keys and that at some point I have to go get my car.
"at the pub"
"That's good"
Here's where parenting at it's finest happens. Sometimes you have to use your child's evil powers for the greater good....Right?
"David, You may have to come with me to get the car, I think I locked my keys inside it."
"Sure no problem Mom, I could just go get it and drive it home."
I consider this for a minute, that is how bad I feel because David is 14 and does not have a drivers license.
"Umm no"
" I can do it mom, I know how to drive."
I look at him again considering.
"No David"
"Alright when do you want to go"
"Later when I feel better"
Hours later I still feel awful, but now I am worried that my car won't be there anymore. I drag myself out of bed, pull on some pants and a sweater. I do not shower, I do not comb my hair, I did brush my teeth though. I understand now why alcoholic people look like they do, They are too hungover to care what they look like.
We leave the house. Then David runs back in and returns with a coat hanger.
I'm thinking about my horrible parenting skills as we walk down the Hwy, me with my scary hair and him with his coat hanger.
Luckily we found my keys and got the car home. I returned to my bed with the vow I made many times in my early 20's. I will never drink again!