Getting to the end

My oldest son will graduate at the end of this school year. I can't believe we made it this far. One more year to go. Don't get me wrong I love him dearly but we are too much alike and the fact that we haven't killed each other to date is an accomplishment in it's self.
The funny thing about teenagers and my son in particular is they want to be grown up only if it means they don't have to do anything themselves. I have had many examples of this over the last few months and I realize that as much as I've tried his future wife is still going to look at me with disdain because I didn't teach my son how to do ANYTHING.
I tried. I did! But for some reason none of it sticks. For example he still does not know how to close a door, which my neighbors are still angry about since the dog got out and refused to come back for the entire night while he barked at everything that moved.....All night long.
My son's response "who cares what the neighbors think"
He also can not and will not deal with any issues on his own.
Me at work...
"Hello"
"Mom the internet is being 'gay'"
"Dustin stop calling things 'gay' and phone Telus"
"Why can't you phone?"
"Because I'm not the one having a problem and I'm at work"
"but I don't want to be on the phone for hours I have plans"
and I do????
"then I guess you'll have to do with out the internet"
"but I need the internet to make my plans"
"then phone Telus"
"whatever bye"
twenty minutes later.....

"Dustin?"
"Yeah"
"Did you get the internet fixed?"
"No I'll phone later , I don't feel like it right now."
"Oh My God!!"
"What?"
"Never mind, bye"

The problem is always urgent until he has to fix it himself. We've had the exact same conversation about his cell phone, his x-box live and the satellite. Although when he called about the satellite I was not only at work but 400 km away at work....And he graduates this year...

To Dustins future wife I am very, very sorry.