The mommy blame game

Ever since the free wheeling, psycho-analyzing 60's parents have been in a no win situation.
You could be a milk and cookies, apron wearing, stay at home mom who walks her kids to school every day and your children will come back to you in twenty years and accuse you of smothering them. You could be a working Mom who comes home every night with fast food hamburgers to do the chores that piled up during the day and your kids will come back to you in twenty years to tell you that you were emotionally and physically unavailable.
The way I see it no matter what kind of parent you are there will be some issue in your children's adult life for which you are directly responsible.
So why not do it on purpose? At least then they won't bother with the inevitable "you screwed up my life" confrontation. It's no fun if Mom knows it's coming.
In the early years I tried the deflection tactic.

Child: "Why do I have to go to bed? I'm not tired."
Me: "Cause it's bed time."
Child: "You're so mean!"
Me: "Sorry Kid it's in the contract."
Child: "What contract?"
Me, picking kid up and taking him to bed: "the one I had to sign before I could bring you home. It's very clear. I must be mean as often as possible and make small children go to bed when they aren't even tired."
Child: "oh"
That tactic worked for a while. Until they learned to read and wanted to see the infamous contract. Then I had to switch tactics.
Now I have an easy answer for everything.
Child:stamping feet and throwing self onto any available surface "why do I have to be grounded! You're so mean! You're ruining my life."
Me: obviously relieved "Oh thank god!"
Child: puzzled "why?"
Me: "I was so worried that in a couple of years when all the kids were sitting around talking about how their parents ruined their lives you'd have nothing to contribute! Now I don't have to worry about that!"

It's the little things that truly cause bank account draining psychoanalysis.
Dustin: "Mom, there's no clean towels again, Do you think you could wash some sometime so I don't have to dry off with a tea towel?"
Very sarcastic boy that Dustin.

Me: " I have decided to implement a new tea towel only policy so I don't have to carry such heavy laundry baskets anymore."

Dustin: ""

It's very easy to implement this parenting technique. Half the time they have no response and ultimately I don't have a lot of guilt about the lack of clean towels.
As well the adults they become will have something to say in therapy so the analyst isn't bored.
Everybody wins.