Parental responsibility...Yeah right

No pic of my guitar playing son. Today I have a story instead.

The other day I saw a man who had tattooed a thick jagged oval that completely encircled his mouth. When you see it images of the Spiderman villain 'Joker' come to mind. It's hideous. What's more hideous is that this man- if you imagined the tattoo away- is a very nice looking young man.

I came to the conclusion that his mother obviously did not cuff him enough. I shared this with my co workers. They of course didn't take me seriously, knowing me as they do, and giggled when I told them that in light of this revelation I was going home to smack my son. It was in his best interest to ensure he did not make such a fatal mistake in the future. They probably giggled because he is much bigger than I and the chances of me getting a good cuff in were slim.

I had a friend in my younger day, A sweet, sweet man who to this day remembers my birthday every year with an email. We haven't seen each other face to face in years and I have no idea when his birthday is but he remembers mine. His mama raised him right. This man is one of three brothers born to a very small Italian woman. The brothers are all over 6' tall and broad. My friend is a prison guard. These are big men. He used to tell me that when they got too tall for their mom to cuff them in the head she started climbing on a chair to do it. It made me laugh to think of this tiny woman climbing on a kitchen chair to cuff her sons. If you aren't feeling very politically correct it really is funny. The point is my friend is a sweet considerate man with out tattoos on his face. His mama knew what she was doing.

So the other day after I saw tattoo man I marched home with a purpose. I was on a mission.

No one was home.

When my eldest son came home I was sitting in my chair watching Gilmore Girls. Not a good moment for a cuffing. I waited till my show was finished. While I watched my show Dustin got settled in with his computer and his guitar both of which occupy my living room along with my TV.

After laughing my way through Gilmore Girls I knew it was time to get down to business.
I turned to Dustin.
"Dustin," I said, "I need you to come over here so I can smack you."

Dustin completely under reacted and replied, "Why's that?"

"Well, I saw a guy today with a tattoo all around his mouth, it looked awful, I've decided his mother must not have smacked him enough....So if you could just come over here so I can smack you that would be great. I'm too tired to get up."

"Long day" he asked, which was quite thoughtful of him.

"yup" I replied.

He leaned forward in what I know now was feigned seriousness and said, "How bout this, I'll let you smack me if you'll go and watch TV in your room so I can play guitar out here."

Even my kids don't take me seriously... I guess I haven't smacked them hard enough.