Digging myself out and small town entertainment

I've been scarce these days and I know it. Sometimes us women are ridiculous in the amount we expect ourselves to carry and I'm afraid I'm all about the ridiculous right now.
Recently my top secret job doubled in responsibility and people, so I've hired an assistant. In theory this should lighten the load.
Between work, kids, gym, house, and disfunctional staff I've not written a word in weeks.
I've learned one thing during this crazy time.
When one becomes overwhelmed even the activities you enjoy become a chore if you tell yourself you have to do them.
On the flip side if you don't make yourself do it then you won't. I haven't.

In other news our local Safeway has been remodeled. The grand opening was yesterday and the whole town came out for it.
Possibly people from neighboring towns as well.
I had no idea it would be such a big deal. We couldn't find a spot to park in the paring lot, or the surrounding block. People I am not exaggerating.
This is the first time in my life that I've witnessed a full lot at a grocery store.
Worse yet I was there. Yes I was excited to see the new Safeway. Actually I was excited about having a starbucks in town and wanted to check that out. It's housed in the new Safeway. I didn't get close. The line ups and the crowds were too thick around the starbucks.
Everyone, it seems, was there for a different reason. Some came for the spectacular deals, like a pound of butter for 1.99. Some came to check out the news digs. I saw a few older ladies with chairs pulled up to the flower counter learning to arrange flowers and more lined up at the starbucks for their first coffee of the afternoon. I ran into one friend who was there for a meal.
"Let me buy you dinner," he says like it's a grand gesture. All the while he leading me around the store offering free samples like they are part of a ten course gourmet meal.
I kept looking at his empty basket and asking "really, is this all you came in to town for?" As he indulged in yet another focaccia sandwich with turkey and wassabi mayo.
My friend noted that people at the Safeway grand reopening were much more polite in the free sample line ups than they are at the samples in costco. I believe this may not have been the first time he's treated a lady to a free sample buffet.
A date she(as I am sure to) will remember for all time.
It was a lovely grand reopening on a rainy day in small town British Columbia.
It was a lovely opportunity to forget about what must be done and do what felt interesting.

Just grinding away

I'm continuing with my workouts though I've put Yoga on the back burner. 5:30 is so early in the morning but for the most part it helps to deal with the coming day when I work out early. I was listening to the radio this morning and they had a fitness professional speaking on making realistic changes for a healthier lifestyle. She said what I've know in the back of my mind. The reason we fail is we start out with too much too soon. Small steps towards health ensure that we do make the lifestyle changes we're looking for and that they will last for a life time.
On that note I will continue what I do now and incorporate small changes as time goes on. Yay for healthy lifestyle.

Since I've been gone

I've been gone an awfully long time. I know. Many busy days and a nasty flu are to blame.
Today I want to talk about books and how they speak to who we are.
It recently came to my attention that I am un comfortable sharing my books with people I don't know well.
It's not what one might assume. I am not stingy with my books. It's not that I don't want to share my possessions with someone else.
The reason may surprise you.
I don't want to share my soul with a stranger.
You may scoff at that. You may think that what you read doesn't say anything about you but deep down you know it does. I can tell a lot about someone by looking at their home library. What you choose to read tells me who you are in such an intimate way that it can potentially be uncomfortable. Especially when it comes to me sharing with you.
Recently I have been in a position to participate in a book swap with some people I don't know well. I haven't brought any of my reading material in yet. I look at my over flowing book shelves and wonder which books are appropriate to share at this point. If I bring in that parenting book will someone guess that I've had significant challenges with my teenage son? If I bring in that book will they know that I've struggled with providing appropriate leadership? If I bring in this other book will they think it odd that someone in my position loves to enter the supernatural world after dealing with too much reality all day long.
I suppose in the end it isn't about the books it's about me and my unwillingness to show my cards. Any of them. I have become such a private person over the years and I hadn't even realized it until it came time to share my books with someone else.
So now I'm left to say "I'm sorry I just don't feel we've reached that stage in our relationship where I can share my books with you."
Have you ever felt this way?