the pic

Th picture wouldn't come through. When I figure out how to get it on here I'll post it.....sorry

Musicians continued

My son the musician.

As a thirty something mom and past lover of musicians it is bitter sweet to see this picture.

I've always loved a musician. Something about the music and the stage presence has always pulled me in. I have complete understanding of those women who love rockers like Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler (two of the ugliest musicians alive) It's the stage presence that draws them in and keeps them hooked. The ability to speak to a crowd of hundreds or thousands about secret thoughts and feelings that are universal, like they read your mind. I have often in been in awe and seen beauty in those who are not traditionally beautiful while watching them on stage. That feeling had also- in my younger years- carried me through months of whirlwind romances with said musicians.

The good old days.

So you can see how on the day I took this photo of my son on stage (he's the gorgeous one on the left) was bitter sweet for me.

I was in awe, the pride I felt for his ability to communicate with a crowd and his courage to perform in front of others was overwhelming. As I looked around I realized that most of the young girls in the audience felt that awe as well and beyond the awe was the building of a crush not unlike the crushes I had developed in years past.

I wanted to usher then out of the room.....Alright I'll be honest I wanted to poke their eyes out and tell them to stay the hell away from my sweet boy!!! But I didn't. I behaved.

The universe has a perverse sense of humor.

My mother often told me that I should marry a tall dark haired man with blue eyes. They are the most beautiful she said. I didn't, but I gave birth to one.

It's a surreal experience to have your past ideals become true and human in a place where love is pure and innocent.

My son is a tall, dark, blue eyed, rocker....Isn't that something.

Truth be told I couldn't be more proud.

If only those girls would stay away!!!!!

Sex

Sitting in the sun today, drinking coffee and basking in the rays my friend Yvonne asked me if I had been writing. I haven't. I realized however that she was asking about my blog, being one of the few who reads it with any regularity she was probably waiting for me to post something new.
After apologizing for being the most boring blogger in existence I asked her what she thought I should write about today. Had I been thinking I would have known not to ask and that I in fact had the answer to what she would like to read about. I am sure my friend Yvonne was a dirty old man in a past life and in typical dirty old man fashion she said SEX.
Silly me.

They say those who are getting it don't talk about it and those that do aren't getting any. Yvonne proves them all wrong to my constant amusement and occasional embarrassment.
As I write this I realize so do I.
I NEVER talk about it.

In Sex and the City terms Yvonnes mouth is Samantha and her truth is Charlotte. It's a funny combination. She's one man woman all the way but has a dirty, dirty mind. Good fun over martinis I can tell you that much. I would be a Carrie Miranda combination. Loving and hating relationships at the same time. An awkward state to be in to say the least.

So as we sat sipping dark roast coffee, basking in the rays, and admiring the bodies of young athletic men, the conversation turned to sex. (of course)

Have I mentioned I love spring.

Emotional writing

I have always been able to write best when my life has some turmoil. Perhaps writing is a form of escape for me. Some of my best stuff shows itself on the page when I am at my worst.
I discovered this week that there is a fine line between writing turmoil and the absolute inability to write because of the turmoil. The fore-mentioned explains my absence from the blog.
Today I will snap out of it and write myself out of the turmoil induced block.

Sometimes life can cripple a person. We can choose to allow it to do that forever, or we can allow it for a few days, or we can ignore it all together. The first and last choices don't work. It's no fun to be emotionally crippled for life and if we just ignore it the bits pile up until the mountain is so high we can't climb over it. Sometimes it's best to wallow a few days and get on with it. I wallowed this week and now I am done. I hope. Spring is a terrible thing to waste.

It's raining today. I love rain in May, it's so much better than March rain or November rain.
When it rains in May it smells like fresh cut grass and wild roses, hopeful smells. I sit at my computer and look out into the back yard, The trees are wet with the rain dripping onto the stone walk way leading to my house. Dandelions have taken over my yard and the grass is long. It has rained every weekend for the last three weeks, not that I'm chomping at the bit to mow anyway. Mowing is not high on my list of choice activities, yet another reason to appreciate May rain.

Eddie can't stand the rain. He will stay outside long enough to do his business then right back in. No endless sniffing for the best spot, no chasing leaves, just out and back. It doesn't make sense this is the dog who will spend hours playing in the snow, roll in mud as well as other more smelly but equally squishy stuff and has even rolled in bear crap on several occasions (yes bear crap. I suspect he has small dog complex and was trying to make himself smell bigger and scarier) yet a little rain sends him into a state.

It rains a lot here. The weather can be quite coastal even though we are hundreds of kilometers away from the ocean at the foot of the Rockies. Normally I despair the amount of rain and have been known to complain endlessly about the lack of sunshine but today the rain feels appropriate smells fresh and sounds soothing.
Today the rain is ok....Tomorrow I'd like to see the sun.

Emailing: 013_1

My dog.

Isn't he the cutest thing?

Life after life

My friend is in Mexico with eight friends. All women of various ages and life stages.
I've received a few of what I perceive to be, drunken emails from her. She's having a blast. While I'm a little envious of her fun and frolic I'm mostly heartened.
She, like me, had her children quite young and when her marriage(s) ended she raised them on her own. Now they are raised and she proves to me there is life after family. I've always thought it to be true. Planned on it in fact but had very little proof of the after life. Sure you hear stories but until you know someone who's done it the stories can feel like ancient myths.
I love my children. They have added more to my life than I could ever list. Probably more than I am even aware of right now. But I was quite young in fact not even legal drinking age yet when I first became pregnant.
My mother, god bless her, used to tell me when I was young, "Travel Peggie, don't settle down too soon, travel."
I didn't listen and now I'm the one telling her. "Travel Mom, you only live once, travel."

When we're young we don't realize how much life we don't have time for. When my children are grown I will join the ranks of my friend and live the childless stage of my life to the fullest.

Yvonne, Mexico doesn't know what hit it! You go girl!

Sometimes there just isn't much to say

I've been remiss. Sometimes there isn't much to say. Life rolls along as always one day very much like the rest. Sunday I did something different.

I'm currently reading Stephen Kings "on Writing." I can hear all you writers gasping in horror that I have not read this book before. What can I say, I'm reading it now. It's a fascinating book.
Sunday I took my fascinating book and went for a walk downtown. Downtown consists of one street, six blocks long that houses at least seven coffee houses. Not one of them a Starbucks.
We don't like big business in our little town. Most of the citizens are still up in arms over the big old walmart that casts its shadow over the lake. One of the only Walmarts in existence with out a McDonald's in it. That would have been the broken straw.
Back to Sunday.
I took my fascinating book and found a comfy coffee shop with a comfy chair and I read. For hours. It was wonderful. I drank my coffee and ate my muffin and was completely fascinated by Stephen King. Finally my cell phone rings, jarring me from Stephens world and back into my own.

"Mom?"
"Hello Dustin."
"Where are you?"
"Downtown, Why?"
"I was just wondering, you've been gone a long time."
Dustin is sixteen years old. At this point I'm supposed to wonder where he is and he is supposed to be happy I am no where to be seen. Since this is usually the case I am quite curious about this phone call.

"I'm just having some coffee and enjoying the day."

"When are you coming home?"
Ahhh, I think to myself, there it is. He either wants something from me. Most likely money. Or he's is doing something he's not supposed to and wants to know how much time he has to continue doing that something. I decide not to give him any comfort.

"I don't know when I'll be home, could be in a few minutes, could be a few hours. Why what do you need?"

"Oh nothing, I was just wondering, you never tell me where you are."
I never tell him where I am cause I am at home, normally. I don't point this out to him I just play along having the answer to my former question on his motives.

"Ok then, I'll see you later on, bye Dustin."

Dustin not having the answer to his question gives me a hesitant goodbye and hangs up.

The end of my lovely morning I get up and walk home to catch him in the act of whatever it is that he's doing.

I really should go out more often.